When I told my best friend Paul about my latest vetrepreneurial venture he reminded me:
"I would also put a little more up about your personal life. How you had a hard time meeting good guys, but then decided to take control, etc."
I'm sure he was holding back with that comment. In the past 16 years we have been friends, we've had no secrets between us. Paul learned patience suppressing the irresistible urge to shake me when I went on and on about being in love with one of the many idiots I've dated.
So here goes nothing: I was 25 when I started dating Mr. Wrong (don't worry he will be referred to in future blogs). Count the red flags, I dare you...
Year 1:
(Yes, we were still dating after a year BUT for the record, he was GORGEOUS!!!)
Dinner with my best friend Paul:
“So how are things with you and the snow maker?” Paul asks with slight amusement.
“Good, things got better since the whole license thing” I admit sheepishly.
He raises an eyebrow, “What license thing?”
“Oh, yeah know, did I not tell you about that?” I hesitate. He stares at me accusingly and shakes his head.
“Oh, so turns out he didn’t have a license when we met because, well, he got a second DUI a couple of years ago he never told me about." I admit to my food more than Paul. I continue without looking up, "but things are so much better now because he turned himself in and the judge sentenced him to ten days in jail, but not consecutive so he can just check himself in on weekends. Aren't snow towns so understanding...”
I turn to look at the waitress and ignore Paul’s look of horror. I attempt to recover the situation.“But isn’t he brave? I mean, to have a warrant out for his arrest and everything and just march himself right down to the station and turn himself in like that!”
Paul doesn't buy it. His face is now a combination of disgust and amusement. The food turns over in my stomach. “And how long has your boyfriend had a warrant out for his arrest while driving your car around?” he asks.
I stare down at my plate. “Umm…three or five years. I can’t remember. You know, he just didn't want to tell me about it with the deployments and all.” My voice trails. “So I got to visit him in jail last weekend!” I add with way too much false enthusiasm. “It was totally like one of those movies, you know, talking to him through the glass and all.”
Paul spit up a meatball, recovered with a hard swallow of water then slammed the glass on the table. His mouth opened to speak and then closed. The look of horror on Paul’s face was unwavering. He took a deep breath and stared down at me. I swear the whole restaurant went silent.
“Damn girl, you hit rock bottom of scum land.” I winced, Paul was never into sugar coating. “You realize you’re a f—ing Air Force Academy graduate, turned pilot, turned girlfriend of loser in jail?”
I look at him exasperated.
“Come on Paul, he was only in jail for the weekend!”
My relationship with Mr. Wrong ended about two months after that conversation. I would like to think it had to do with Paul's horrific reaction to what I hoped to be my future husband...
It wasn't.
We all make mistakes. The key to mistakes is learning from them. If you don't learn from mistakes then you can easily fall prey to repeating the past. I sought help after this relationship to discover why I would date someone like Mr. Wrong. Changing my patterns helped me find my way to my husband who is definitely Mr. Right.
I promise, I will get into why we date idiots in the next blog....
pic from: http://www.pardot.com/infographic/avoid-bad-dates-bad-leads-infographic
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