Why do we date idiots?

If you are reading this, then maybe you've dated an idiot or two or three or more in your life. Why is that? 

A girlfriend of mine just got dumped by her latest boyfriend. He is 33 and twice divorced with two kids. He cheated on his first wife with his second wife and his second wife with her. His latest occupation is a barista so he can "experience all levels of society."

My girlfriend is a smart, beautiful, 28 year old woman enrolled in school right now to get her Master's in Education. When they first met, I asked her if she felt like any of these qualities were red flags, she replied "yeah, but he's so fun and I am totally attracted to him! It was like there was this spark when I first saw him... Don't we all make mistakes?"

This same gorgeous friend can walk into a room with 25 emotionally healthy, good looking, successful guys who want to get married and pick the one jerk who was going to play her...

Ok, so I'm not pointing fingers at barista's, divorced men etc. But I am wondering why she went after a jerk when I know she's looking for her husband? 

Sometimes we need to look at our partner's past "mistakes" to understand they are symptoms of underlying issues. The fact that he's cheated on both of his wives and has never spent time single could mean he is co-dependent, passive aggressive, afraid of confrontation etc.

Is this something you want from a partner? The question is, why not just go after the nice guy?

As an occupational therapist, I like to take look at things holistically:

What is happening with our brains?

What is happening with our hormones?

Who are we as a person?

Are we learning the lessons we need to from our past relationships?

More to come on these topics...

PS. I'm sorry if I got your hopes up, but I really do wish I could tell you where you could find a room full of 25 great guys, maybe I was being a bit sarcastic...